Reply to Still crying at age 11?

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Reply to "Still crying at age 11?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, how would you like her to express sadness?  Have you practiced those techniques together?  Kids don’t actually grow out of this stuff organically, they just find different coping mechanisms.  You were hoping she would find the coping mechanism of bottling up her feelings because you value being “brave and strong” over emotional awareness and openness and because it is less work for you if she just suppresses her emotions.  That is bad parenting all around.  Figure out some healthy strategies to actually express sadness rather than hide it and then work together on those.[/quote]

actually, kids do learn different coping mechanisms as they get older, and they're really important to develop.   One of the things i try to teach my kids is to "shrug it off."  There are things that make us sad and we cry about it.  It feels good to cry, and it's therapeutic.  But, there are daily things that happen to us that are either unfair, or hurtful or frustrating and crying really isn't the best reaction.  My 11 year old has a boy in her class who cries a lot. He cries when he feels hurt or when he loses.  I really feel for this kid because he doesn't have good coping mechanisms.   Now, I think OP's daughter is entirely different, but I am using the example of the boy to show that not all crying is positive or healthy.  
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