Reply to Do immediate siblings ever exchange gifts between “just them”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You said this year it was a house Reno.  That is definitely the type of things my immediate siblings and I give out parents.

We arrange collecting money between the siblings and buy them a bigger gift (usually an experience, a trip, or something new for their good). I assume my siblings speak to their spouses about the gift/money but I don't know know. We give it to them from 'all of us'.

[b]I don't understand why your DH would be against going in on a shared gift fr a Reno. If that is what they need / want, then join in and give it to them.[/b]

I have one SIL who is an only child and so she can't afford to give her parents the gifts we give out parents (5 kids). I know she is resentful of that sometimes but it is just the reality of family size.[/quote]

Because the way the OP's SIL wants to do it is say this reno is from your REAL KIDS, not from the husbands and wives they married.  I'd think it was great if the card listed 6 people or "from all of us" meaning all 3 families. But she is being weird by having a big gift exchange where the 3 real kids give gifts to each other and their parents but NOT TO THE GRANDCHILDREN. If they want to give gifts to each other,  they can do that privately without 6-8 people sitting and watching. That is what is rude.[/quote]

I don't think the OPs SIL put "THE REAL KIDS" on the card. Let's stop being dramatic shall we?[/quote]

OP here, it wasn't "the real kids" but it was close enough.

I believe the exact words were "Mom and Dad would love it if we could contribute to xyz reno from just *US* kids" in a joint email to her siblings.

Oh well, i'm over it. This is who SIL is and it's not going to change. She is hellbent on pretending other people outside her immediate family don't exist. I'm just glad that DH consistently enforces boundaries and isn't ok with this type of behavior. Nonetheless, it sucks to be at DH's family gatherings next to someone who has just about as much regard for you and your kid as a potted plant.[/quote]

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