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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Husband as default parent?"
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[quote=Anonymous]It worked for RBG, it can work for you. But a small warning. Breastfeeding essentially sets women up to be the main caretakers of babies. Routines, etc are all set up in those early weeks and months. It's not impossible to shift, but it's something to be aware of. My DH and I have a very good split. We are both committed to keeping jobs with flexible schedules. We are wary of taking jobs with lots of travel. We both take over sick days, we both do the feeding/bathing/bedtime routine. We both take time to ourselves while the other covers the home. I still do more of the *mental load* which is 100% UNSEEN WORK. He understands that, but it does tip the scales to me doing more with the kids. It's things like having a mental tally of every single item of clothing my children own and WHERE IT IS. I don't seek out to know this stuff, but I do. So I track down the hats/gloves when it gets cold out. I am watching to see when my 4 year old's pant are getting too short and I need to buy more. I am tracking sales of clothing so I don't have to spend too much on it. I am loosely remembering how often their lovies have been washed and when it's probably time to do that. I track their hair cuts and schedule that. My DH will take them, he will buy clothes, he will go to the doctor. But I track it all. Could he? YES. But I have found I actually ENJOY this stuff and I want to do it. So while I do remind him I have more mental load, I don't actually want to offload it entirely either. But I do think the mental load is what can wear down women with higher powered careers. Because they have a hard time *not* doing these things even if their DH's would figure it out eventually.[/quote]
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