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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "quality of life after divorce- best interest of children question"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, is there any way to salvage the marriage? I don't think your desire for a single family house with a yard is unreasonable, I was critical at first, until my husband pointed out that you want the same things we have. What I do think is unreasonable is expecting him to move close to *your* family. Being the trailing spouse is hard enough when you are married, it would be even worse if you are not. Is there any way you could move to his hometown? If not, realize that those are the reasons he won't move to yours. If the marriage is breaking up about where to live, I'd put everything on the table. Would moving to an apartment with an indoor pool be acceptable? Would being happier knowing the situation is not forever and with some movement on getting a more suitable living environment make you realize you still like him? Realize that he doesn't care what you did during the marriage to support him, that only counts if the two of you are still married, and at some point, even that won't count if you are nasty to him. Nobody can live with that for very long. Second, realize that your family won't support you as much as you think. They may love you just fine, but once you live near them, you are just one of them. The closer you live to them, the less special the treatment you receive. Your family is busy with their own interests, plans and activities that fulfill them. They won't cancel their plans because Billy barfed at school and needs to be picked up or because you have a headache or "need a break". They certainly won't help an ex, and if you think they would, think of how you'd feel when they say "Remember I helped your ex out last weekend, I don't care that the new boyfriend wants to take you away for a romantic weekend, go enjoy yourself but we're busy". Everything comes at a price op, and I don't think you've figured that out yet. [/quote]
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