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[quote=Anonymous]Adult adoptee here (international, closed, different race). 
I have two sides to the coin as do all kids (just scroll thru the family forum lol).
I was adopted as an infant in what might be the most benign of circumstances, or at least circumstances that disn’t leave lasting effects. I was healthy and well cared for. My adoptive family was very very open right from the beginning... i so not remember them “telling me” bc they started when i was so young. Which imho is the way to go. Now, do i possibly have some very mild abandonment issues? Maybe, but i know plenty of bio kids with MORE issues. I have never been curious enough to search for my bio parents... partly bc i think it would kill my parents, and i love them enough to not want to do that to them, but also bc I am aware that the end result could devastate me. Basically, I don’t feel like I M “missing anything.”  I always thought that i might feel differently once i had kids of my own... nope.  All the issues i have with my parents are due to things NOT related to adoption. 
Now my younger sib was adopted as a slightly older child and suffered drug addiction and malnourishment in the womb and beyond. They have mental instabilities and issues that stem from not developing correctly / physiological, but also serious identity issues that have affected all relationships. So anyone who knows us probably sees us as the two completely opposite ends of the spectrum. I should also add they I never had any racial issues but sibling experienced significant bullying/teasing... not really sure why / what the difference was. 
Everyone has issues. Adoptees just tend to have presictable ones (like abandonment) and noticeable ones like health or addiction issues that probably had to do with the reason they were available anyway. [/quote]

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