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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That stinks but middle school doesn't suck for everyone. [b] I set my daughter up to have several different groups of friends so that if there happened to be a falling out with one group, she wasn't friend-less.

So if there was a sleepover with her core group that she somehow wasn't invited to, she just made plans with a friend from a different school for that night[/b].  [/quote]

I think this is a good plan, but it doesn’t mean your child won’t ever feel hurt about being left out. And if she does, please don’t just push her out the door to another social event. Let her express and work through how she feels. Learning how to think, feel, and act about social event exclusion (whether benign or malicious) is an important life skill. Sometimes it’s about dynamics or needing to reciprocate a past invitation. And that’s okay.

My older DD was lucky enough to have a really stable and close group from K to 12, but that is highly unusual. So unusual that school counselors commented on it in MS and HS. The norm is for some relationships to cool off and learning how to process those feelings is healthy and necessary. I’ve taught MS for over a decade. Hot and cold girl friendships are a pain in the butt for the adults, but they often serve as practice for handling adult disappointments. My younger DD dealt with the end of an eight year friendship with grace and self-reflection that more than a few adults should emulate. A year later, she has a new best friend, but she doesn’t write off what was lost.

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