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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You had a conversation “a few years ago” about him not smoking pot. Before you get in a tizzy, I suggest talking to your husband again. Please acknowledge that he appears to have abided by your wishes for years. He knows you don’t want him smoking yet he apparently seeks an outlet or escape. Why not come up with a solution together?[/quote]

This is my plan. DH and I rarely fight. We will talk though this in a sane manner.   His work stress has been higher lately, and our family stress increases when I return to work (I'm a teacher, off for the summer).  I did not say a word last night. I'm not sure if he thinks I believed him when he said he was taking out the trash last night.  [/quote]

NP. A few things to consider when you talk:

1. You're in VA so-- not legal except for medical use. If he gets arrested, since it's not legal in your state, could an arrest or conviction affect his job? Even if he's not in a security clearance kind of job, or is not in a job where there is drug testing--some employers are not going to be OK with an arrest record, even for supposedly personal-use-only pot. If the employer wouldn't necessarily fire him, he might find his advancement prospects mysteriously limited over time. I'm not saying it's right or wrong of an employer to have a problem with a pot arrest, so pro-pot posters, that's not the issue. The issue is simply that the employer--in this "employ at will" state--can choose to dismiss over this. If he feels his employer would never do it, he might want to rethink that.

2. There are PPs saying let him smoke as it probably helps his medical issues. Why take medical advice from total strangers online, whose personal medical experiences may be nothing like his? Like you, OP, I would want to know if pot could affect the other meds he's on. Even if there is no negative interaction per se, could pot slow his body's absorption of his needed meds? Only a doctor can tell him. I'd press him to tell his doctor he's a smoker and ask the question. And you should be there to hear the answer too because frankly I think he would not tell you if a doctor said to stop smoking, OP.

Yeah, it sounds naive to say, tell the doctor you smoke pot. But my relative had to do just that (in another state where it's also not legal) and found the doctors non-judgmental--they really did just want the truth about anything he was putting into his body.

In the end you and DH seem to have a communication issue. I'd wonder what else he was keeping to himself. I don't just mean in a "hiding stuff he thinks I don't like and will judge" way. I mean keeping things from you in an even more important "why does he feel he can't be his real self with me" way.[/quote]

Reactions like this are why people hide things. It’s rather extreme and uneducated. [/quote]

How is it "extreme" to present the idea that some employers may have a problem with some employees if they get arrested?

How is it "uneducated" to recognize that there are still places where pot is still illegal, so a person who buys and smokes it is at risk of arrest, even if it's not hugely probable?

How is it "uneducated" or "extreme" to point out that people posting here can enjoy pot and It can help them medically, but they are not qualified to give OP's husband medical advice?

There was zero judgement above about pot use. Only noting legal and medical issues OP should consider. Her family, not you, will have to deal if DH's employer makes things difficult over an arrest. Her family, not you, will have to deal if DH has a medical condition that is affected. It's ill-advised to use any substance (including legal ones like alcohol) if you have health issues and are on meds, unless you get advice from real doctors and not from Dr. DCUM. Burying one's head in the sand and taking anonymous online medical advice--that would be uneducated.

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