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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because he is passive aggressively telling you that you don't dress sexy enough. [/quote]

you don't know the meaning of passive aggressive, do you?  he's being pretty straight up and direct of what he finds appealing to him/his desires, without being mean or cruel about it or without trying to shame OP.[/quote]

I am pretty sure that making hints, leaving lingerie out, etc is not being straight up. Talking is straight up, what  he is doing is literally telling her she is not being sexy enough, without saying she is not being sexy enough.

It would be like her saying... wow 15 in a 30 would be nice, leaving books on how to give a good massage on his side of the bed. It's indirect communications, which is passive. [/quote]

+1 Pretty obviously passive aggressive to me. I can't even imagine my DH or I leaving out clothes we expect the other to wear because we don't approve of what we generally wear. There's a particular piece of clothing my DH used to wear that I couldn't stand, and I told him that I didn't like it and why. Hinting that he should buy other clothes or leaving something out on the bed would have been the definition of passive aggressive!

If OP isn't sexy enough for her DH and he's tempted to stray or whatever then that's on him, he shouldn't have married her expecting to be able to change her. The ONLY thing that could change things is if she WAS always wearing a certain style of clothing and then changed recently. But even then, he should just be direct - she used to wear this, he really liked it, now she doesn't, is there a reason why because he really misses it for whatever reason. And it should of course be her choice.[/quote]

Exactly.

My H will be shopping, take a picture of something and say "I think you would look pretty in this, do you like it, i'll buy it".. I will say... sure love it or no... the straps are weird, or it looks too tight, or I look terrible in pale yellow. See... that is not passive.

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