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[quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't pack your bags just yet. You have two very young kids and that is seriously the worst time ever, especially if any of your kids have sleeping/eating/potty training issues... It can just be a stressful, life-sucking time where you lose your identity and feel like the kids have taken over. It does get better over time.

I guess I'm mostly wondering whether he's really upset about the kids being in existence, period, or whether he wishes he could have some of his old life back because he doesn't feel like he has his own identity anymore. I think the former is more dooming and the latter is completely understandable and changeable.

Does he ever enjoy being around the kids? Does he ever have moments when he's happy he's a father? I agree with the pp who said parenting is like a constant fluctuation between a relentless nightmare and grateful happiness. Usually, for me, the grateful happiness came when dd was sleeping.

But I know I've had my sad and bitter seasons when I've felt like having kids has completely sucked the "me" out of my life, and I resent them for needing to have the whole family's life and schedule rotate around them. Ultimately I've dealt with it and done a pretty damn good job of parenting because I still care about my kids somewhere deep down inside. I just tried to find little ways to also keep my own identity and have my own fun... going out with friends occasionally, having date nights so we can just be a couple sometimes, keeping a hobby... those little things have helped to keep me going and not feeling like I am a mom and mom only.

Sometimes my resentful attitude upset DH just like your DH's attitude is upsetting you... but for me, it wasn't about him. I didn't feel trapped by marriage... I wanted more of a marriage because I felt trapped by children.

It's not like I was going to abandon my kids or divorce or anything drastic... I just felt sad that I couldn't be more selfish with my life. And then I got over it. And then it came back. And now I'm getting over it again.[/quote]

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