Reply to Cousin admitted she smoked her entire pregnancy.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And frankly I'm really upset about it. She lied and said she quit, brought up multiple times how hard quitting was etc but yay she did it! Fast forward to the baby is here and she started up again. I told her I was surprised she'd smoke again so soon with a newborn and how hard it was to quit. She said that well she never actually quit and still smoked 2-3 a day and he's fine (as if she's rubbing it in my face he wasn't born with a third arm).  I was really taken aback and got off the phone shortly thereafter.

What do you even do with this disturbing information? I don't even want to talk to her again but it's her baby and her life. I'm just really disappointed she lied multiple times to me about it and also disgusted she'd do that. Poor baby. How would you proceed? [/quote]

Two cigs a day or two packs a day?

You are not the pregnancy police. Odds are her baby will be fine will no ill effects. [/quote]

Again the same posters come out to prioritize not "policing" women over the health of the unborn babies[/quote]

They say that because a) it’s her body and her child and b) what can OP possibly do about it? Same her? Cut her off? Break apart the entire family? Maybe OP should set rules like no smoking in her own home or around her and her kids, and let other people live their lives. It would be different if anything OP could do would help, but pretty much all the OP can do is talk about it with the cousin, which quickly turns into nagging. The cousin knows the evils of smoking and isn’t ready/able to beat the addiction. It’s sad but it’s not really OP’s business.

Rather than asking about it and being continually disappointed in your cousin, consider telling her that while you think it’s a bad decision and you hope she overcomes it someday, you’d rather not talk about smoking with her in any way right now, but you’ll be her cheerleader if she tries to actually quit. Then don’t discuss it anymore because it only makes you upset, and if she tries to quit only give positive vibes.

There’s a thread on page 1 about how people cut off family members for minor infractions and most people seem to think that’s a bad idea. Wouldn’t you agree, PP? So what else is there to do? If there’s nothing else to do about it, stop worrying about it, because it’s out of your control, aka stop policing other people’s bodies. [/quote]

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