Reply to My DH regrets having kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]OP, go over and read the thread about SAHMS giving up great careers. What is going on in your family is why having a SAHM in the family can be a great thing. My DH hated parenting, too, when the kids were little -- we had twins so it was a ton of work and overwhelming. I stayed home after about 9 months. This enabled DH to focus on his career without limits. He was happier, and I have loved raising my own children. Yes, I gave up a fabulous career that I miss (do it part time, but it's not the same), but our family life would have been Hell if I hadn't. I'd think about it if I were you. And if parenting isn't your thing, either -- well, sorry to be snarky, but why on Earth did you have children together? [/quote]

I don't agree. Why should the OP give up her career (esp since it seems that she enjoys it) so that her husband can push off even MORE of the basic responsibilities of child-rearing on her? It doesn't deal with the real issue, which is not the fact that his life has changed but that his maturity level has not changed along with it. And the fact that what OP wanted was a family, not just children, and by that I mean a unit where both parents love, support, nurture their children and each other. I feel sorry for OP and sorry for the kids who will figure out, if they haven't already, that dad is more interest in his own unhappiness than in their happiness.

OP, I wish I had advice, but I don't. I guess you might want to give it more time, since they are so young, but you might also need to have a serious "suck it up' talk with your husband. His complaining is immature, selfish, useless and hurtful. sure, having kids can be a nightmare at times, but he signed up for it.

On other question, what is his relationship with his parents? You might want him to think about that--if he has a good (close) one, ask him if he is fostering that with his kids...and if a poor one, the same question. [/quote]

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