Reply to Wife ignores me when we have a disagreement

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When we have a disagreement, [b]after stating her position my wife retreats into ignore me mode[/b].

I have tried explaining the problem with this approach but, well, see above (she ignores me then too).

Not surprisingly this has led to other problems in the marriage.

From where I'm standing divorce is the only option if I don't want a wife who ignores me.

This partially a vent, partially a hail Mary pass to see if there's something I'm overlooking, partially I'm bored at work.[/quote]

I think this is the problem. [i]DW states her position, and does not allow DH to state his opinion. [/i]Which, I don't think it is abusive, is not the way you should be communicating.

DH is trying to explain to his wife that in order to have a healthy relationship, BOTH parties should be allowed to state their opinions, they come to a middle ground or at least an agreement. The DW is essentially making unilateral decisions, not respecting the DH's opinions, thoughts, or feelings... and just ignores him.

How would you feel if your significant other simply said... this is what I think and this conversation is OVER! Think about it... because that is essentially what the DW is doing. She's not asking for time to think. She is not asking to cool off... She is simply saying, this is how it is and you will say nothing further about this. That has to be tiring as hell to OP.[/quote]

He's the one bringing up getting a new car, so [i]he has already stated his opinion[/i].  She says she disagrees.  He wants to talk about how (1) she's wrong, and (2) also, she's disagreeing incorrectly; she doesn't continue to engage.  Not the same thing as never letting him voice an opinion.[/quote]

OP here. I'll repeat what I said earlier: I might be open to her way of thinking, but I would want us to arrive at that conclusion TOGETHER. For example, maybe she doesn't want to buy a new car now, but is thinking we could buy one in 5 years (cars don't last forever). So maybe after discussing together we would compromise and agree to buy a new car in 3 years. Neither party would be getting exactly what they want, but no one would feel their opinion doesn't count. But in order to get to the 3 year compromise some discussion is necessary. She refuses to discuss the topic at all. This car scenario is hypothetical, by the way, but illustrative of the dynamics. between us.[/quote]

The details of the real disagreements do matter. If it's a two-year-old car, she might think the idea of replacing it so soon is too ridiculous to debate and that's why she's not engaging. If it's a 12-year-old car, then she's being a bit ridiculous not wanting to even have a conversation about replacement plans.[/quote]

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