Reply to Children Inheriting Large Sums of Money

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't get all the hand-wringing here.

Old Auntie:  "Honey, I'm going to leave all my money to your kids, but because I don't really trust you or like you all that much, I'm going to put your Uncle Billy in charge of it.  You remember Uncle Billy, right?"

OP:  "Oh, yes, Auntie.  How very thoughtful of you.  Can I get you some more tea?"

End of story.

I've handled a number of estate issues for elderly relatives. 
 Frankly, in my experience, ANY attempt by you to direct her actions or explain why it might make sense to do things differently will be seen as (pick a word - manipulative, money-grubbing, fraudulent, jealousy, etc.).  It's just the way it goes.
 [/quote]

Excellent advice. Just be appreciative of the thought and say/do nothing until it actually comes to pass. You are making yourself anxious today for nothing and feeding into your aunt’s need to manipulate other people’s lives. [/quote]

I agree with these posters.  You can't control your relative anyway, and you don't need or want to be dragged into these unhealthy and unpleasant dynamics.  It's her money to do with as she sees fit, and whatever she decides may or may not match what you know today.  So don't waste energy on things you can't control.

That said, do spend energy on teaching your kids how to manage money and think long-term.  Do keep in mind that a decade+ from now there may be a need for them to be far more level-headed about money that the typical 18 year old.  Remember that you have a decade+ to plan for this inheritance (if it happens) so probably by the time your kids are nearing 18 you will know whether or not this money is going to come their way.  And if it is you will have LOTS of time to talk with them about what will happen when they are 18, what you will set up for them to manage the money well, how you will support them, how they should be thinking long-term, etc...  You can teach your kids.  You can line up professionals to meet with them to talk about managing money.  You can position them to invest wisely and not touch principal, etc...  You can get professional advice yourself if/when you know that this possibility has become a reality.

In other words, there is a lot you can do to prepare your kids to use the money wisely if they are lucky enough to receive it.  Don't let your emotions about your family cloud the very manageable challenge of handling money well.  You can figure that out and help your kids with it.  It doesn't have to be a nightmare.  [/quote]

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