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[quote=Anonymous]I had a similar issue with my DH.  At the root of it, he's a really good guy and doesn't want to feel like he's coercing his wife into sex, or guilting me into it.  He goes above and beyond to make sure I'm happy in bed, and he equates his performance with my pleasure, so it's disappointing and frustrating for him when he can't send me over the moon.  And, yes, men also want to feel desired.

I had to have a very frank conversation, with two main points:

1. It's not about you or your "performance". Really. Hormones are a real thing, they and they alone are responsible here.  So please stop taking it personally or as some sort of rejection.

2. Even if the desire and pleasure isn't where it used to be, I still enjoy sex - just for slightly different reasons. I enjoy feeling close to him. I like having a chance to physically connect. Those things are important to me. With all the disruption of our lives caused by having a new baby in the house, our bedroom is one place we can maintain our sense of "us".[/quote]

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