Reply to Depressed, unemployed husband has me depressed

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Depressed, unemployed husband has me depressed"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Big hugs to you, OP.

You need to divorce.  Maybe that will be the impetus for your DH to deal with his depression.  At this point, you are just enabling him to wallow and do nothing.

Cut the cord.  Seriously.  It would be one thing if his therapist felt that your DH could not work and is disabled,  if that was the case then at least he would collect disability.

Divorce for your own sanity.  Do you want to support him forever?[/quote]

Thank you.

We had a big discussion this morning that left me feeling defeated, sad, and unloved. I have been trying so hard and he's decided I'm evil or unsupportive. I told him his well being was my number one priority, that our family depended upon his getting on his feet and feeling happy and fulfilled. He said that meant I was saying nothing at all is wrong with me.

I calmly told him I'm well aware I'm imperfect and that we will relate much better, though, when he feels he has good things in his life generally, which makes for a better outlook. He described our relationship, which is not all that close now that he has isolated himself and has very little to say about his day, his interests, as 90% of his life, and posited that if I am focusimg my energy on his getting a job, interests, and friendships then I'm saying he's a problem and I'm great.  I'm not. It's just that he's in dire shape.

He also accused me of never making time for him; it's simply not true but since I work normal work hours, plus some extra work to help our financial situation, I'm gone about as much as an ordinary working person - which could feel like abandonment if you're always at home. But I only travel like two days per month for work, and with one teenager this doesn't put much on his plate.

Anyway, he wanted about having nothing in his life and laid that at my feet, though I pointed out that I really want him to have everything including us. I asked if he wanted me to stop trying to encourage him to see friends and find activities that bolster his mood for the job search, and if so how I could support him.

He said he didn't trust what I was saying about wanting his happiness because he feels I never have. I don't know what to say about that. I've always done everything I can to be supportive, even as his not working has made me anxious and sleepless and affected my health and our future.

I feel like all of my love and effort has been wasted on a sick and selfish jerk. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics