Reply to How to handle--better boundaries or do I just need to let go?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Another, slightly outside the box, suggestion.  Maybe your immediate family and your DH's sibling's immediate family can plan a vacation together where FIL and his GF can drop in.  Get a beach house with room for everyone (if that's possible for you all).  FIL and GF can stay at a nearby hotel if they prefer.  Cousins have bonding time.  FIL has grandpa time.  GF can check out if she needs/wants to.

Sometimes it's easier when no one is on their home turf.[/quote]

OP again.  Don't you hate it when you make a great suggestion and the OP says "yeah but..."?  This is a great suggestion, and 1-2 years ago (can't recall now) my DH and BIL came up with this very idea.  We suggested it to FIL--get a big beach house for kids/grandkids, GF and FIL stay in a hotel or condo, we can hang out some, do our own thing some...FIL was actually the one who said NO!   We were collectively shocked.  I thought it was SUCH a good idea.  And maybe someday he'll think it sounds better but he seemed to find it unappealing.

I will mention that FIL and GF live near a cool city with lots to do, and in the past DH, DC and I have stayed at a hotel in the city and FIL has come in for the day which has worked great.  I mentioned the other day to DH that maybe our next visit "there" would not be to FIL's house but rather to a hotel or air BnB in the city where he can easily come in for a full day, or part of each day, whatever but we can also see nearby extended family with or without FIL.[/quote]

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