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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The good news is that this is a faux-MIL and not an actual MIL.  If/when your FIL needs caregiving, [b]unless he's given her power of attorney for health/finances[/b], it will be your DH and his sibling that make the decisions.  I suggest you have your DH and his sibling have a frank discussion with their father about ALL of this.  It will take some delicacy but you have a legitimate concern that with POA (or a marriage), she could exclude you from your FIL's life if he is incapacitated.

Instead of a hotel, could you get an AirBnB? when you visit?  If so, you could get a bed/room for your FIL and you could hang out to your heart's content in a 'home-like' environment. [/quote]

OP again.  FIL is a well-prepared sort of guy and has made a sibling his POA for these issues.  There are very specific documents about who can decide what.  Though they aren't married they also have documents stipulating who can get what in the event he is incapacitated and how his finances would be managed in that event.

Honestly we have looked at air BnBs but they are few and far between near FIL's home.  But this is a good suggestion and one DH and I have considered, and will again.  Hosting FIL in a hotel, which we have done on some occasions, can be tough with kids.[/quote]

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