Reply to Cheap SIL re childcare

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your SIL was reaching out for help as she settled into a new place, and you essentially slammed the door shut in her face.

She was asking you for the occasional favor, not knowing the dynamics of having a nanny.

Send her an email and apologize for being so harsh. Offer some suggestions as to how you found babysitters. If your nanny might be willing to take them occasionally, for a fee or not, let her know that too.[/quote]

My sister-in-law and I live a mile of each other as well and we do playdates/carpooling all the time. I don't see how it was out of line for her to ask you - it could be a win-win. She could go to an appointment (which is a pain as a SAHM - I used to be one) and the kids could play. [/quote]

How is it a win-win for the nanny having 2 extra kids to watch?  Agree that OP could have been nicer about saying no, or could have told SIL the price nanny would charge to watch her extra kids.[/quote]

I'm the "win-win" poster and the win for the nanny is that the kids are entertained. Of course, age is a huge factor here. If babies and/or young toddlers are involved, that changes things. OP, remember you may not always have this nanny and things get difficult with school and snow days, etc. For example, I'm working late next week so my SIL is getting my kids off the bus and will have them for a couple of hours.. Conversely, I'm off the last day of school (half day) and she's not, so I'm getting her kids and will have them until she gets home. [/quote]
Doubling the amount of work of the nanny is not a win. Is it just that she is a domestic worker why you think this is okay? And yea she won’t always have the nanny...especially if she expects her to do more work for the same pay.

When nannies do play dates the other nannies don’t just drop their charges off and leave as SIL is planning. [/quote]

Np. If the kids are like 5 it's not doubling the work it's reducing it because thekids will play together. This is why nannies like playdates. If the kids are 2 then yes way more work but don't be obtuse. SIL can be in the wrong and nannies can like playdates.

OP I'm with most other ops. Right on principal total fail on execution. You lostthe high ground being so over the top. [/quote]

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