Reply to My teen has been pressuring another girl to have sex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let me get this straight...are you saying that a young couple at their school was bragging to the other students about how they were going to lose their virginity together.  The word got out until pretty much everyone at the school knew that these two were making big plans to lose their virginity together.

Your daughter and her friend started to egg on the girl and (I'm assuming) some of the guys were egging on the boy to have sex.

What probably started off as good natured ribbing turned into more forceful pressuring by your daughter and friends as they grew impatient for this girl to lose her virginity already.

Context is important and I would have to see how the girl was responding to these texts....was she going along with all of this or was she seriously being harassed in a mean spirited way by your daughter and her friends, Op?[/quote]

Hmm. . . could be the above, could be just the boy was telling people his plans.  I think the important thing is the mom of the girl was alerted or found the texts so she could intervene (yeah mom) and your DD actually is talking to you about her role.  That means you have good communicatoin.  Teens absolutely do stupid shit like this.  I think the PP who emphasizes why this is a line one should not corss has it right.  Talk about all the men that have fallen recently for crossing that line of pressuring women into sex acts.  Talk about coercion.  Explan why she should always want to find herself on the side of stopping any such coercions not in participating in it.  If she tells you sex is not big thing. . . that's your conversation you really need to have.  She'll likely tell you it is, but this couple was already going to do it.  Then . . . why are they different?  Who should be having sex?  Under what conditions? Danger of alchohol and lack of consent issues (poor judgment after drinking is how unwanted pregnancies happen I suspect).

Poor girl just opened herself up to a huge discussion she probably doesn't want to have.  You should see this as an opportunity to address these important issues before something truly awful happens.  I wouldn't dump all this on her in the next few days . . . but in the coming weeks.  She opened the door and now you need to talk to her about these issues or get her a counselor who will. [/quote]

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