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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with your sister.  Her bio family could have chosen not to do ancestry.com or checked the box that they not be contacted.  They put themselves out there.  Anyone who does that sort of test should understand by now that birth or other secrets could be revealed.[/quote]

From my sister's case, her found siblings had no idea their mother had had another child.  It was a family secret.  They might have just thought they'd find cousins not the secret love child of their mom.[/quote]

NP here but, tough. Such is life. They are adults, and this child's birth was presumably decades ago. It is not that child's fault they were born-- life happens.[/quote]

Life is very tough, thanks for being kind about it.  My sister is the product of a rape/incest (rape by family member).  The family is of course very Catholic so it has caused quite a stir with her bio family.  Imagine finding out that your mom had a child, that she was raped, and it was by her own stepfather who you grew up with and called him Pappi.

Yeah it isn't her fault she is alive, but she is a reminder of something awful to them all.  No one wants to talk to her.[/quote]

And the child should pay the price for all of that decades later because people don't want to cope with it? Nope. Sorry. They don't have to invite her to Christmas dinner, but they can certainly be respectful and kind towards the child and answer questions. [/quote]

As others have said, you cannot force them to be kind and talk to her.  They weren't kind, and they haven't been.  As I said before, the stuff said from siblings and mom were some of the meanest things I've ever read in my life - calling my sister an abomination, how they wish she'd just kill herself (with suggestions - yay!), etc.   It has been very hard to watch as an outsider.  As another adoptee, it has made me quite sure that I do not want to know.

OP all I wish for your sister is love and peace.  She may not get peace though with this route.  Still as a sister, my best advice is to support and love her through this journey.    [/quote]

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