Reply to Cannot say I am the love of her life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am OP.  If we were happy and things were going well I would not be considering leaving over this. But the fact is that for many years we have had a variety of issues and I’m just trying to decide is this worth investing time and energy into. Not so much a litmus test as an attempt to get valuable information from her regarding our relationship and how she views me.[/quote]

OK so you seem to have lost some people with the use of the phrase "love of your life."[b] But it sounds like you just want to know if she still loves you and still wants to build a life with you. It's a legitimate question, and it sounds like after the past several years it's not at all clear that she still does[/b]. The more direct route may be to say (if true): "I love you, I want us to be together, but I can't always tell if you want that too. Will you let me know if you don't so I know where I stand?"[/quote]

I think a more direct question is what’s needed.  The “love of life” means different things to different people.  DW may not be a romantic, may not believe that there is only one person in the whole universe that is right for you, or maybe after the rough patch she can’t say that she can’t live without you because she had to confront the real possibility that it might not be a choice.  If she had said either she wasn’t in love with you, never loved you, or should have married the one that got away - those would be clear indications to cut bait but she didn’t say those things.

My mom would actually warn me about a boyfriend that said things like he could never live without me.  Perhaps overly romantic or perhaps a sign that he would go crazy if you try to leave him or he sees you talking to another guy.  So like a PP said so well, I make a choice to be with DH.  If he decides to make a different choice, I would still continue to live and try to find happiness in life. [/quote]

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