Reply to Just don't really care

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Just don't really care"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]omg.  ok. happily married 20 y.o. DW here (and we've had our rough spots)

What got me to reply to this is when OP said (3/6/17 he's behave very differently if wife was sick) and also that he is not looking to step out.

1) We had no parent support, no one we could leave the kids with.  It just seemed like other parents were completely nannied up or had their own parents or siblings in town to watch their kids; or had no one like us.  High school kids these days are overloaded with homework or headed off to college.  There didn't seem to be an in between where parents could just get a sitter to watch kids for a weekend once in a while.

However, OP, you must make this a priority.  This is your marriage.  FIND someone to leave your kids with!  FIND two people, like sisters or two best friends or something, and leave your kids and go away for two nights.  Go someplace close if that will help one or both of you feel like 'if something happens, we can drive back."

One thing I didn't know until recently is that au pairs get days off, and often want to babysit because they want to make some money so they can explore the US when they are done with their stint.  They don't get much from their host family because they get room and board.  I had no idea about this, that an au pair would be thrilled with the extra cash to work with kids on her weekends off.  You could get one, but you really could get two--many of these au pairs know each other, so find one and coordinate with her so she comes with a friend.  Your kids will have a blast and they will too.

Alternatively, if you are ok with another family watching your kids for a night, and then you watching their kids for a night, go for that.  But don't stay at home; get thee to a hotel.

I say that because often for DWs, the home is really become the nest, and it's just not sexy space, it's maternal space. (this should really be its own bullet point; it's important to understand this, OP!  Hotel. She isn't waiting for little Larlo to call for mommy, and she doesn't have to wash the sheets.)

2) Expectations.  I'm typing now so can't go back to confirm, but your kids are young, right? As a PP said, it's a season.  When they are all in school, it gets better, and as they age, it gets better.

3) I am not one to go to counseling (it's hard, if you don't give a crap, to have to research and coordinate counseling; hell, that's harder than bringing her soup and you aren't up for that even) but I wouldn't rule it out.

Good luck, OP![/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics