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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am in your exact situation.  My father abandoned us when I was 5. He, too, is an alcoholic.  We haven't heard from him in over 30 years. We found out last year that he is dying.  After hearing the news, I contemplated whether to go see him but I've chosen not to.  The reason being is that the closure I would be looking for would never happen.  There is nothing he could say that would ever come close to what I would want from that encounter.  The little kid in me wants the man to apologize and ask my forgiveness, and for him to say that he's been thinking of me over the years and always wondered about me.  The adult in me realizes the chances of that happening are nearly non-existent - and even if it did, could I really believe anything he said?  For me, the answer is no.  At this point in my life, I don't hate him and I don't need explanations from him.  I also don't have any interest in assuaging whatever guilt he may feel wondering about how my life turned out. I have no desire to know anything about him.  Any curiosity I may have had about him over the years disappeared once I had my own kids and fully realized what type of person could have abandoned his family like he did.  If he dies tomorrow, I am 100% content with my decision to not see him.  [/quote]

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