Reply to What kinds of fights lead to divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s been on my mind a lot lately. DH’s job changed dramatically in the last year. He now works so many hours and travels so frequently that I have to SAH as my salary wouldn’t pay for the amount of childcare we would need. His salary alone isn’t enough to pay for help for me. So, I SAH and am exhausted and resentful. It is really hard to take care of 3 kids (one with severe SN) without a break. DH refuses to look for another job. His pays less than 100k. Divorcing wouldn’t help the financial situation, so I haven’t brought it up. But the resentment is growing and it’s driving a wedge.[/quote]

So you resent (1) taking care of your kids (2) not having to work and staying home (3) your husbands job. Got it![/quote]

I resent that I essentially feel like a single parent who lives paycheck to paycheck. I literally get no break and [b]my husband is having nice hotel stays and going out for fancy dinners all the time.[/b] My mom was a single parent, but had the reprieve of family help all weekend and for several weeks during the summer. I love my kids and being able to SAH, but no one wants to work 24/7 without a break, no matter how much they like their job. With all the work travel, I feel a lot of space growing between DH and I. I hate it.[/quote]

That's called, doing his job.  You know, the thing that brings in the paycheck that allows you to stay at home.  And as for 24/7, business travel sucks.  So-called, fancy dinners are after he's put in a full day working, and now has to entertain clients.  If not, he's eating a fancy dinner alone in some city he's rather not be in, away from his family and his own bed then likely flying home outside of business hours and expected back in the office the next morning.  You think it's glamorous?  Why does his salary have to "pay for help" for you?  You are SAH and can't handle it that you need paid help?  You sound ungrateful and pathetic.  I feel sorry for your H.[/quote]

NP. You are not being fair, PP. Making less than 100k in the DC area and traveling that amount would make any mother crazy. I DO agree that it is a bit silly to conceptualize work travel as glamorous and fun, but the fact remains that no woman wants to feel like a single parent. It honestly sounds like both she and her DH have 24/7 jobs without time together or to relieve each other, and no one can live happily like that for very long. [/quote]

Work travel might not be all glamorous and fun, but there is some of that for sure. Ask DH if he would be willing to trade places. There is no way he would. That says plenty.[/quote]

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