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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]These people sound exactly like my FIL (my inlaws have been divorced 30+ years and my MIL is now deceased).  I’ve known my DH and my FIL for over 20 years now.  We too thought things would get better when we had kids.  Our kids are FIL’s ONLY grandchildren.  He doesn’t give a sh@t about them.  He is still verbally abusive to my DH and me.  He is completely indifferent to my children (doesn’t care about birthdays (he probably doesn’t even know when they are), holidays, milestones, their personalities, anything).  He will give my DH the silent treatment for months over perceived slights.  He scams money from us.  He’s super racist.  He’s super sexist. He’s called me a b@tch, a c@nt, told my DH to divorce me, called my 9 year old fat (she’s actually in the 35% for weight and 75 for height, so WTF) to her face, etc.

Abusive people like this will never, ever change. Don’t sell your soul.  A promised paid for college education is not worth it, and IMO I bet they wouldn’t follow through anyway.  They will screw you over in the end.  Get your DH in therapy, don’t engage with the inlaws at all.

On a side note, you said your DH was the nonfavorite child, so I assume there is at least one sibling.  How is DH’s relationship with that sibling and that sibling with the inlaws?[/quote]
There is one sibling, a brother. My DH strongly dislikes him and hasn't spoken to him in 20 years (I don't know the full scope of things, but it seems like DH's sibling saw how DH was treated by his parents and then joined in). DH has no inclination to interact with him ever again and that is fine with me. The in-laws are constantly bringing up the golden child brother and guilting DH for not wanting to interact with him. Our kids are  the in-laws' only grandchildren. [/quote]

Interesting how DH is able to set boundaries with his brother but not parents. That's worth exploring.[/quote]

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