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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  I guess I was not clear.  The child has responsibility, yes, but she is also under her mother's sway.  So she's not a free actor, but neither is she without independent judgement.

I also did not mean to equate what I do for her as tit for tat in terms of time.  We have a great time together, do activities, etc.  But because I have more resources, and because I am not incredibly bitter and angry like her mother, I have gone out of my way to make her life more fun and livable at BOTH houses.  I was the one who found and arranged her favorite activity.  I have been the one to buy her things for both houses, rather than just have the "cool" stuff here.  [/quote]

Yes, but that is what a parent does.  It's your responsibility to help raise your child.  It is not on your DD that you got a divorce.  [/quote]

No, each parent is to provide in their own home.  Anything extra is a bonus/being decent.[/quote]

"Decent" is hardly a high bar.

I am my child's parent 24/7.  If he's with me, at school, or with someone else, he's still my child, and I still want to make sure he's having a good quality of life, and his needs are met.  If playing soccer or having access to a laptop to do homework, or wearing good quality shoes contributes to that quality of life, then I'm going to make sure those things happen for him, regardless of where he is at the time he goes to or uses them.

If you see yourself as only a parent when your kid is physically with you, then you're not really a parent at all, you're someone your kid visits.  [/quote]

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