Reply to Choosing which side of family to live near... What do kids need most?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you are going to be unhappy with any of these situations if you are expecting regular, close involvement in your lives.  I think the better option is to a choose a place you want to live, that is within a couple hours drive of one set of grandparents.  Then it's easy to see them for holidays and, hopefully, they can get to you easily to help in a real emergency but there is no expectation of being into your business all the time.

Kids can feel close to family even when you don't live in the same town.  My kids are closer to my parents on the other side of the country than they are to my ILs who live a couple hours away because we've always taken time to visit and they visit us.  Sometimes when our kids were little I was a bit jealous of my sister who does live near my parents and gets a lot of babysitting help but I also love where we live and created my own community of friends.  When DH had an emergency hospitalization, I had several people I could call in the middle of the night to come watch our preschoolers.  It does take time and persistence to build that community for yourself and I think when people do have family in town they are less likely to put in the effort.  Nearly all my friends do not have local family.[/quote]

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