Reply to Longfellow Bullying, etc?

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Reply to "Longfellow Bullying, etc?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]  This gets at a post I started in the general school section and people disagreed. Bullying is a RED FLAG IMO for emotional disturbance and the kid needs to be identified and sent for help. It could be the child is a victim too. It could be the child has poor sense of empathy or even is showing signs of a personality disorder. The victim may be the identified patient, but the truly disturbed person is the bully. It is not a sign of being strong, it is a sign of emotional disorder. It is beyond comprehension that you take victims out of class for a group. Maybe support the victims in a lunch group, but miss class? Meanwhile get on the case of the families of bullies until they get help and take it seriously. Society is changing and your little bully may no longer have the potential to be a CEO. Now he may end up like a shunned loser like all the people getting taken down recently.[/quote]

I agree.  In a bullying case, the school admin. needs to immediately do the following:
1)  Validate the victim.  Tell him/her that they were indeed being bullied and that the behavior of the bully is unacceptable - period.  Impress onto the victim that the bully will be dealt with.  The victim should not have to miss class for any kind of "mediation" BS.  
2)  Deal with the bully.  Haul him/her into the principal's office, call the parents, guidance counselor, etc.  Agree on punishment.  There need to be immediate consequences - suspension, apologizing to victim, etc.
3)  Then, and only then, should more investigation into the bully's background, home life, etc. be undertaken.  Certainly, some bullies come from homes that foster that kind of behavior.  But more often than not, as another PP pointed out, bullies are just run-of-the-mill assholes.  If it turns out there are larger issues, then therapy needs to be set up for the bully.  But if not, the parents need to get on board and admit what their child has done and agree to work with the school to prevent it from ever happening again.  
4)  The bully needs to be told that s/he will be suspended or even expelled if the bullying continues, or if any of the bully's friends take retribution on the victim.  And then the school needs to actually FOLLOW THROUGH.  [/quote]

Nope.  In many cases the aggressor may actually be the student who has been harassed, which is why the more holistic approach makes sense.  [/quote]

Nope.  The "aggressor" - bully - needs to face consequences immediately.  Regardless of the bully's background story, s/he needs to realize bullying is unacceptable.  After that, admin can get to the bottom of their behavior and see if therapy/intervention is warranted.  The victim needs to see the bully face consequences.  Period.[/quote]

Fortunately, you aren’t establishing or administering the policy.  Easy for some parent sure her own kid could only be a victim to decide who should be labeled a “bully” and disciplined.  Not so simple for those who actually want to mentor adolescents. Period.[/quote]

Do 15 year old rapists deserve consequences or are they just misunderstood?[/quote]

Rapists are usually referred to as “rapists,” not “bullies” (although in some cases youths are wrongly accused of rape by parents who don’t want to believe their children would engage in consensual sex).[/quote]

Does the difference matter? Unwanted touch is unwanted touch.

PP must be the parent of a bully.[/quote]

Indeed, but getting poked in the back is not the same as being vaginally or anally raped.

None of my kids are or were bullies.  One was bullied while attending a Vienna middle school by a jock who ended up at a local private.   Another was falsely accused by an attention-seeking girl of throwing rocks at her at a bus stop, but it went no further when all the other kids present confirmed the allegation were false.  This all happened in middle school; no experience with bullying one way or the other in high school.  [/quote]

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