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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD is a sophomore at a very good private (think Big 3 but we are in a different city).  Her IQ is about 135 and she did well in public until high school.  She switched to private and so far, every semester has gotten 2 Bs (always language and math) and he rest As.  She wants to major in science and I'm concerned she is blowing her chances to get into a good school for science with the consistently middling math grades (she is taking advanced math but can't, for the life of her, get an A). She does well on homework, etc, but gets low grades on tests and the final.

I'm paying a small fortune for the school and I can't help but worry that it's a waste of money (we are in a great public district where no one send their kid to private).  She's happy there, so I guess I should take solace in that.  She's fine with her grades and thinks they are ok.  She was depressed last year, so this year, she's decided she doesn't care (which is probably part of her therapy).  Last year, she did virtually no ECs.  This year she has a couple.  Nothing super impressive, but one is a club that she started with a friend, so that's something.

I guess I'm not really looking for advice, maybe a reality check, and a way to not be angry with her for being ok with mediocrity.  Before everyone piles on, which you undoubtedly will, I am super supportive of her.  I don't say these things to her.  I say them to myself and I'm actually trying to find a way to be ok with her being who she is.  I just don't get how a kid that has the intelligence isn't rising to the top. I'd love to understand why she tests so poorly and what can be done to help.  I'd also love ideas on how to motivate her.[/quote]

NP. When I started reading your post and saw the IQ, I actually thought you were implying that 135 is low, or at least not that high. And then I figured out that you think 135 is super high. It's not. Mine is a lot higher than that, and yes, I easily got As, but I still didn't get full marks on everything. Honestly, some Bs and some As is exactly what I'd expect from someone with an IQ of 135 who attends a moderately competitive school.

And to answer your question, she doesn't work harder because she doesn't have the hunger. Ironically, by being a helicopter mother and trying so hard to give her every little advantage, she's never developed a work ethic or the ambition to succeed in order to improve her situation. I'm not sure whether anything can be done about that, at this age. Or maybe it's the opposite situation, and you've pushed her so hard to be perfect that she's tried so hard but she knows she'll never be good enough for you and so she's just given up.[/quote]

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