Reply to Invited daughters friend over to play and the dad asked if I could watch other child, too

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DC's best friend's mom is super nice, and if I need to do something, would happily keep DC.  I would happily have DC's best friend over, but each time DC asks if the best friend can come over, [b]I get a reply that the two younger siblings, including a 3 year old, have to come too because they would feel left out.  [/b]The two younger kids are very well behaved, but I can't just ignore a 3 year old.  I feel terrible, but I've stopped inviting DC's friend over and have also limited play dates with DC and the best friend because if I'm not willing to host, I don't feel comfortable sending DC to their house.  It's super awkward now because DC loves playing with her friend and I keep saying no and trying to make play dates with other friends.  [/quote]

So my response to that would be, “So you want me to watch your kids for free so you can have some alone time. But you’re framing as a situation where you’re unable to manage their disappointment with their sister having a play date.  Did I get that right?”

[/quote]
Ouch. [/quote]

No, ouch is another parent dumping her kids (including 3 year old) on another parent with some lame excuse like “Oh, but they’ll be disappointed if Larla gets a play date and they don’t.” The audacity to say that with a straight face warrants an equally intense response. [/quote]

NP to this story.  I couldn’t be that blunt.  What I would do is go for a middle ground and suggest we meet up at a x location together with the kids that way she can still keep an eye on the younger kids and they feel like they get things you too and our girls get to see each other.  Or pick something teen based like going to the mall where if she wants her younger kids there too, she would need to watch them.  If she was as bold to say 3 siblings should tag along I would counter “I’m not comfortable being responsible for all the kids there on my own, you would need to come”.

I think if the goal is freee babysitting for all her kids, she will back down when she realizes she would need to be there and it might be more work because it will be in public versus relaxing at home and it may cost money for her to bring them.[/quote]

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