Reply to How to just accept extremely frugal husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b][quote=Anonymous]I am kind of team husband on a lot of these issues.[/b]  I can't imagine replacing a washing machine unless the other one was broken....and a moving them upstairs or a kitchen remodel are VERY expensive projects!  Even a small kitchen remodel is likely to run you $30k.

As for refinishing the cabinets, you could meet him in the middle by DIYing it.  It actually isn't hard at all, just takes time and would be a lot cheaper than paying someone else to do it.

But really, what I would probably do is ask for a new washer/dryer or whatever for Christmas.  It would bring you joy and isn't strictly necessary so for me that would be a legit present.  Then maybe he would feel it was OK to splurge a bit since it benefits the family as well.[/quote]

Same. That's why I asked what OP's budget is for these things.  FWIW, I don't think $1M for retirement/college/emergency means you can spend willy nilly on home improvements.  Also agree with PP that pointed out that these cosmetic improvements aren't going to make huge improvements in the value of your home. [/quote]

It doesn't matter how the rest of us value these projects-- the issue is that OP and her DH need to find a way for them to find compromise on issues relating to money. [/quote]

They have compromised. OPs husband doesn’t want to tackle purely cosmetic updates, which is quite reasonable. OP wants not just a complete remodel, but reconfiguration of plumbing and new layout of at least some portions of the house.

[b]They made some minor updates.[/b] This is frugal but certainly not extremely frugal.
[/quote]

OP here. We haven't made any updates. I was explaining what I'd really like (ie: new kitchen) and what I'd compromise with (ie: new counters.) We have not done any of these things.

I obviously understand I can go to the granite store and have them measure and install new counters. I think doing that against his wishes would ultimately just cause him to dig his heels in further. I agree this is much more of an emotional/relationship issue than a money issue.[/quote]

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