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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to not be afraid to insist that you have a voice in your marriage. His anxiety doesn't get to control your entire life. That is a recipe for depression and possibly divorce in the future, which will SURELY shake his financial world. Don't give up OP DEMAND to be heard. [/quote]

I have tried and tried and tried and tried. That is the point of my OP. I can "insist" until I'm blue in the face. Its futile.[/quote]

What's futile about selecting the items, hiring a contractor, taking off work to supervise and paying for it *out of the joint account*?
And don't tell me you're one of those silly women who are afraid to be alone with contractors. 
You want it, you make the effort. 
[/quote]

He would be apoplectically (is that a word?) pissed. [/quote]

And are you afraid of that?

You have to be brutally honest with yourself here. Are your spending wishes really commensurate with your finances? Take a good look, perhaps with your husband. 
If you are absolutely sure that they are, then consider what would make you happier: fighting with your husband but getting what you want, or prioritizing marital peace? Note that you could have one huge fight the first time you spend without his agreement, but that this could wake him up to the fact that you deserve to spend a little more for your own happiness. Or he'll keep fighting every time.

My point is that there is no right or wrong answer. You just need to be aware of all the ramifications, make a decision, and take the consequences. You can't keep wringing your hands and whining about the dream life that is being denied to you. This is real life, OP.
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