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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread bothers me quite a bit with the whole hierarchy of special needs behavioral issues. Maddux is generally considered off limits on here for kids with severe adhd because they are just too disruptive. But a child who literally needs frequent one on one attention for melt downs and anxiety is somehow less disruptive. It’s this whole odd ranking based on what is harder for teachers to controls kids that internalize and shut down are generally easier to manage I suppose. It also feels quite gender specific. It is what it is, I just think the whole system is unfairly biased against boys with hyperactive - very - adhd. [/quote]

Acceptance is very child specific.  It's not that a school won't take "severe ADHD" it's that it really depends on how that particular child fits the profile they cater to.  My kid with severe ADHD isn't all that disruptive, but she does move around a lot and need a lot of breaks.  Occasionally she needs help through a meltdown.  That's a profile SN programs are used to.

OPs experience with a 1:1 isn't necessarily a red flag, because the 1:1 need depends on the placement.  A school that can't handle SN kids at all would need a 1:1 even if the aide is just sitting there most of the time.  A school geared to SNs might handle the same behaviors easily.  But a kid who is continually disruptive,violent or not responsive to the school's behavioral interventions is going to be hard to place.

OP also mentioned her kid is performing above grade level.  SN schools like that because it makes the school look successful.  And yes, girls have an easier time getting in, because there are fewer girls with SNs.  On the other hand, girls in SN sometimes feel very isolated because they can be the only girl in a class of all boys.

I hear your pain.  You've had a hard time placing your kid.  There aren't enough option for a kid like yours.  But hang in there.  Things may get better as he gets older.   A good behavioral program at school and home may help him learn to control himself better and give you more options.  Are you the PP with the kid at Diener?  They have a very good behavioral consultant working  there.  Do you have a behavioral program at home?[/quote]

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