Op, I'm interested in the home schooling consortium. Can you share the name?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a child who "graduated" from Maddux last year after several successful years. He is very bright, has ADHD, some social challenges, and pretty frequent meltdowns - 2-3 times a day or more. They include crying, not wanting to participate, being easily distracted, sometimes even falling into a heap but not more severe behaviors like screaming or throwing things, etc. Maddux was perfect for him and he sounds a lot like OP's child.

My child would never scream or throw either, and he does not melt down, ever. He is hyper, distracted and too physical. He was not accepted to Maddux. But I think it’s misleading somewhat to call and identify these behaviors as “sn lite” - in all honestly these frequent melt downs etc. are probably worse for th skid than my son’s nonstop physicality BUT they are easier for teachers to dela with - not less time consuming, or staff requiring but easier. My point really is that fair? I think our whole education system is female biased and these are how sn presents often in female children. I think it’s interesting/worth debating.

For the sake of the OP, that debate should take place in a new thread.

You’re right. It arise here however because he agreement is that these behaviors are definitely disruptive, requiring even a one on one in mainstream, but they are acceptably disruptive in that they are internalizing and the child is female so she is likely to get in to many of the sn schools.

You're right, PP. It's the hyperactivity and physicality that schools don't want to handle and that is present in boys more than girls. FWIW, the Maddux student I described for OP's benefit is not hyperactive or very physical which is probably why they accepted him and he was a good fit for the school.

The hyperactivity can become a physical safety issue. I know delightful, happy and cooperative kids who would be jumping off of furniture at that age and I don't think Maddux would have taken them either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a child who "graduated" from Maddux last year after several successful years. He is very bright, has ADHD, some social challenges, and pretty frequent meltdowns - 2-3 times a day or more. They include crying, not wanting to participate, being easily distracted, sometimes even falling into a heap but not more severe behaviors like screaming or throwing things, etc. Maddux was perfect for him and he sounds a lot like OP's child.

My child would never scream or throw either, and he does not melt down, ever. He is hyper, distracted and too physical. He was not accepted to Maddux. But I think it’s misleading somewhat to call and identify these behaviors as “sn lite” - in all honestly these frequent melt downs etc. are probably worse for th skid than my son’s nonstop physicality BUT they are easier for teachers to dela with - not less time consuming, or staff requiring but easier. My point really is that fair? I think our whole education system is female biased and these are how sn presents often in female children. I think it’s interesting/worth debating.

For the sake of the OP, that debate should take place in a new thread.

Anonymous wrote:I know a child who "graduated" from Maddux last year after several successful years. He is very bright, has ADHD, some social challenges, and pretty frequent meltdowns - 2-3 times a day or more. They include crying, not wanting to participate, being easily distracted, sometimes even falling into a heap but not more severe behaviors like screaming or throwing things, etc. Maddux was perfect for him and he sounds a lot like OP's child.

My child would never scream or throw either, and he does not melt down, ever. He is hyper, distracted and too physical. He was not accepted to Maddux. But I think it’s misleading somewhat to call and identify these behaviors as “sn lite” - in all honestly these frequent melt downs etc. are probably worse for th skid than my son’s nonstop physicality BUT they are easier for teachers to dela with - not less time consuming, or staff requiring but easier. My point really is that fair? I think our whole education system is female biased and these are how sn presents often in female children. I think it’s interesting/worth debating.

I know a child who "graduated" from Maddux last year after several successful years. He is very bright, has ADHD, some social challenges, and pretty frequent meltdowns - 2-3 times a day or more. They include crying, not wanting to participate, being easily distracted, sometimes even falling into a heap but not more severe behaviors like screaming or throwing things, etc. Maddux was perfect for him and he sounds a lot like OP's child.

I would look at McLean (which is in Potomac Maryland.) It's something of an ADHD haven --gym every day, OT on site, a lot of sensory multimodal interventions--and has a lower school that starts in K.

That said, there is something to be said for battling to get an IEP. It really comes down to how much time you have before your child is just "through" with school and it starts to affect his or her self-image. In our case, we started IEP process. Were entrenched in a complex conversation (school wanted DC to "fail" before agreeing to review child), when DC started reported "I'm stupid" "God hates me because I"m so stupid" and worse. That was the time I knew I had to give up on IEP and switch to private.

Anonymous wrote:This thread bothers me quite a bit with the whole hierarchy of special needs behavioral issues. Maddux is generally considered off limits on here for kids with severe adhd because they are just too disruptive. But a child who literally needs frequent one on one attention for melt downs and anxiety is somehow less disruptive. It’s this whole odd ranking based on what is harder for teachers to controls kids that internalize and shut down are generally easier to manage I suppose. It also feels quite gender specific. It is what it is, I just think the whole system is unfairly biased against boys with hyperactive - very - adhd.

I'm the one who said Maddux was SN lite and I agree. We were asked not to return to Maddux. I've posted on this forum on other Maddux threads and I know from personal experience that they don't want to deal with behavior cases, they want quirky, smart kids with mild needs. When we were there I was really hard pressed to see what the issues were with other students and that was after lots of time spent at birthday parties and with other families. Notice that nobody ever mentions Mclean? That's supposedly an SN school but it's so "lite" that it hardly ever figures on this board.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Question about applying to private special needs schools:

Do you go in with an IEP in hand? From the public school system or do they evaluate on their own as part of the admission process?

Do they accept your diagnoses in hand? We have evaluations from our child psych done this fall and pediatrician and speech/play therapist. Will they demand to have something else?

Also I forgot to add: every mainstream preschool (two different places) have had issues with DD (love her some days but can't handle her lack of participation or her anxiety attacks with crying), but the one therapeutic summer camp we did for two weeks where there were trained professionals in special needs with a small group was the most successful program she's ever done. They recognized anxiety and handled it beautifully.

If you have any IEP, they will look at it as a source of information, but they will not bind themselves to it. Plus, they recognize that your child may need different things when the entire program is geared toward those needs, compared to the large public school system. Your evaluations sound fine. Your child will also go in for a visit (length will depend on the school), but every SN private I've looked at understands that a child is not at their best when visiting a strange place.

The fact that she's done well in a therapeutic setting is why I don't think you should rule out Maddux (or any other SN school) based on her current behavior. I know from personal experience that Maddux handles crying and non-participation just fine.

I agree with pp, it's too soon to rule out any school at this point. SN schools vary in their ability to handle disruptions. A one on one might not be necessary, but if you're at a SN school that can't address behavioral issues that may crop up, they'll point you in the direction of a school that can. Tour schools; it's almost impossible to get a sense of what they do from a website.

In terms of a public school iep, even with outside documentation, they will assign a category that they thinks matches her needs. There are only a handful of categories, and iep "labels" aren't diagnoses. They're a very blunt means to an end. Just saying not to let this get to you--your goal is to find an appropriate setting and services where your kid will learn best.

It can be a bumpy road. Where you start may not be where you end up. It's good you're researching your options. It really is a marathon not a sprint.

Anonymous wrote:This thread bothers me quite a bit with the whole hierarchy of special needs behavioral issues. Maddux is generally considered off limits on here for kids with severe adhd because they are just too disruptive. But a child who literally needs frequent one on one attention for melt downs and anxiety is somehow less disruptive. It’s this whole odd ranking based on what is harder for teachers to controls kids that internalize and shut down are generally easier to manage I suppose. It also feels quite gender specific. It is what it is, I just think the whole system is unfairly biased against boys with hyperactive - very - adhd.

Acceptance is very child specific. It's not that a school won't take "severe ADHD" it's that it really depends on how that particular child fits the profile they cater to. My kid with severe ADHD isn't all that disruptive, but she does move around a lot and need a lot of breaks. Occasionally she needs help through a meltdown. That's a profile SN programs are used to.

OPs experience with a 1:1 isn't necessarily a red flag, because the 1:1 need depends on the placement. A school that can't handle SN kids at all would need a 1:1 even if the aide is just sitting there most of the time. A school geared to SNs might handle the same behaviors easily. But a kid who is continually disruptive,violent or not responsive to the school's behavioral interventions is going to be hard to place.

OP also mentioned her kid is performing above grade level. SN schools like that because it makes the school look successful. And yes, girls have an easier time getting in, because there are fewer girls with SNs. On the other hand, girls in SN sometimes feel very isolated because they can be the only girl in a class of all boys.

I hear your pain. You've had a hard time placing your kid. There aren't enough option for a kid like yours. But hang in there. Things may get better as he gets older. A good behavioral program at school and home may help him learn to control himself better and give you more options. Are you the PP with the kid at Diener? They have a very good behavioral consultant working there. Do you have a behavioral program at home?

Its all about cost, in the end. A school needs more staff and a more intensive, individualized approach for a kid with very difficult behaviors (whatever the cause).

That's why behavioral problems are the most guaranteed SN ticket to a public school system doing a private placement. Of course, the private schools that will take kids with severe behavioral challenges are usually bare bones and unappealing b/c they spend all their budget on staff.

This thread bothers me quite a bit with the whole hierarchy of special needs behavioral issues. Maddux is generally considered off limits on here for kids with severe adhd because they are just too disruptive. But a child who literally needs frequent one on one attention for melt downs and anxiety is somehow less disruptive. It’s this whole odd ranking based on what is harder for teachers to controls kids that internalize and shut down are generally easier to manage I suppose. It also feels quite gender specific. It is what it is, I just think the whole system is unfairly biased against boys with hyperactive - very - adhd.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may not need the 1:1 in the right environment though.

Yes but she historically has needed one. That would be the red flag I would think.

From her description, she doesn't really need a 1:1, it's just that her current placement doesn't know how to handle her. Any SN school will assess the need based on reports and their own observations of the kid.

Anonymous wrote:OP. Question about applying to private special needs schools:

Do you go in with an IEP in hand? From the public school system or do they evaluate on their own as part of the admission process?

Do they accept your diagnoses in hand? We have evaluations from our child psych done this fall and pediatrician and speech/play therapist. Will they demand to have something else?

Also I forgot to add: every mainstream preschool (two different places) have had issues with DD (love her some days but can't handle her lack of participation or her anxiety attacks with crying), but the one therapeutic summer camp we did for two weeks where there were trained professionals in special needs with a small group was the most successful program she's ever done. They recognized anxiety and handled it beautifully.

If you have any IEP, they will look at it as a source of information, but they will not bind themselves to it. Plus, they recognize that your child may need different things when the entire program is geared toward those needs, compared to the large public school system. Your evaluations sound fine. Your child will also go in for a visit (length will depend on the school), but every SN private I've looked at understands that a child is not at their best when visiting a strange place.

The fact that she's done well in a therapeutic setting is why I don't think you should rule out Maddux (or any other SN school) based on her current behavior. I know from personal experience that Maddux handles crying and non-participation just fine.