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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother in law is a very nice person. She lost her husband, my father in law, in a sudden way last year and I think it has left a "scar" of trauma to her life. She won't even go to the mall because they used to go there. Or Costco. Well, 7 months after his passing she started spending time with a family friend and now they are dating. Like going on trips together and sleeping over dating. We no longer live near her so part of me is glad she has someone to spend time with. Another part of me is wondering if this guy is an opportunist. I know I can't butt in but it's making everyone act strangely. My husband's brother hasnt seen her in 3 months over it. My husband has told her she can't come to visit with him because it's too confusing for the kids. I feel like I'm watching it from the outside.. and I feel like she has become very dependant on this man and I'm worried. He spends all day with her it seems. She owns a business and I'm not sure what he does all day.  [/quote]

You guys are being incredibly shitty to your MIL.

It's not confusing for the kids.

You don't know this man very well, and you are assuming all kinds of bad things about him.  He's a family friend, not some random dude she met online.  She's probably known him for years.  She's lonely.  She found someone to spend time with after a terrible loss.  You guys might not admit it, but you just don't want her to "replace" her husband, and that's not fair to her.  Your husband needs to deal with his grief head-on, not take it out on his mother.

By the way, if you want to ensure that she ends up truly dependent on this guy, be sure to exclude him from your family and continue to punish her.  Also, if you ever see something actually worrisome about their relationship, you now have no standing and no credibility to raise it with her.  On the other hand, if you had treated this person with kindness and respect, then if you saw something that was really troubling, you might have been able to talk about it with her.  [/quote]

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