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[quote=Anonymous]So much advice her about hand holding an addict because it’s a mental illness makes me think posters on here have zero experience with an addict and how they can ruin a family.

I could have written OP’s post.  My cousin, as long as I can remember, has been a liar, thief and addict.  He will say anything, he’s a charmer, and then steal from you.  He stole his mother’s pain pills while she lie dying in hospice.  He showed up at my wedding and stole wedding presents.  He broke into my parents house and stole my mother’s jewelry.  He joined a cult.  He got in trouble so many times with the police in our state he had his driver’s license suspended for 10years.  He turned his mother’s house into a meth lab after she died.  He is a piece of $hit.

There are some people who are so far gone, who are so wrapped up in their own addiction and narcissistic personalities you cannot help them, reason with them, save them.  Advice to give OP’s brother ultimatums or conditions is useless.  OP needs to save her sanity, her livelihood, and herself, especially if she has children of her own.

Op go to Al anon, get some strategies, use them.  I cut off all contact with my cousin years ago, and finally my parents did too.  I cannot have him randomly showing up at my house, stealing from me, putting me in harms way, with my kids living here.  [/quote]

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