Reply to What questions should I be asking before my dd goes to high school parties?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd say I was going "out" and when I'd be home. [/quote]

Never this.

We never let our kids just go "out."  It is a set expectation that we know where you are going, who you are with, and what time you will be home.  There's no curfew per se; just stick to the plan.  If the plan changes, for example, you're going to Sam's house instead of Jake's, you let us know, or if you are stopping to get something to eat after the movie, you let us know.

[/quote]

I was counting days till college because my parents were asking all those questions. My parents still don't understand why I was so irked by those questions. None of those question stopped me from partying, I learned to hide well.[/quote]

I'm curious, when you go out now, do you tell your kids where you are going and when you'll be home?  When we leave the house, we tell our teenagers, "We're going out to dinner at X Restaurant with the Jones' and will be home about ten.  We'll let you know if we stop off somewhere on the way home or are running late."

This isn't weird parent overreach; it's just common courtesy, and that's how we've explained it to them.[/quote]

I know it's common courtesy but it irks me to this day, so I am not informative. Kids can see me on life360 if they want to. If they need me they text and ask when I am coming back. Same goes the other direction, I can see where they are and I ask if I need to know, not out of curiosity. [/quote]

So, the takeaway is that out of some temper tantrum resulting from your parents' concern, you are rude. You openly eschew common courtesy b/c your parents -rightly, by the sound of it- wanted to make sure you were safe? Got it.

For the record, I also deceptively partied a lot in HS.  But, I've come to if not appreciate, at least understand, why parents acted as they did. And I'm capable of acting like a courteous adult now.  You should try it.[/quote]

I had zero temper tantrums, instead I studied in secret so I could get into the college I wanted. I did not share my grades either (even though I had straight As). I don't like to share my life if asked and nothing changed about that. My friends, my kids, random people share a lot with me, at the same time. 
I don't understand my parents' concerns as their track record is worse than mine (they are trusting people and I am not).[/quote]

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