Reply to I feel like having a baby ruined my marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I have been together for 12 years and while we never had a perfect marriage and there have been ups and downs we have always been pretty happy. However since having our baby over a year ago I feel like it ruined our marriage. We fight constantly and it seems the only thing we agree on is that we both love our child. Has anyone else experienced this and if so what did you do? [/quote]

Doesn't sound like you love your child as you are laying the blame for your problems at his/her feet. Please get help now before you ruin an innocent life.[/quote]

I don't think you are understanding me. This child could not be more loved and I am not blaming my innocent child for my marriage problems. I too struggled with infertility. It was a hard road to get pregnant for me and an extremely difficult birth. And between dealing with my postpartum mood issues, birth injuries, two full time jobs, etc. it's like DS eats up every last iota of goodwill, love, civility, patience, and energy that DH and I have and there's nothing left for each other let alone time for ourselves. He's been a lousy sleeper since birth so we don't even get to enjoy an hour or two together after he goes to bed because he is still waking up at least 2-3x per night. I just don't know how we get past the point where this needy human eats up all the energy we have. [/quote]

I totally understand you. My suggestion is to find help. If you can, put money on the problem. Hire a nanny for a few hours a couple of days every week and spend time with your husband. Leave your child with their grandparents or nanny and go for a weekend away. Your child is old enough to be left with someone else for a couple of days. You both need time with each other to remember why you decided to be together. Your child will be much happier and grow up happier if you are able to fix your relationship.

Try to find happiness and joy in your child and in your husband. It's hard, but make the first step... I know I often do with my husband...[/quote]

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