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[quote=Anonymous]Most posts on non-binary / trans people--especially pronouns--get caustic pretty quickly here, but just a reminder: People are attached to these experiences. Real people, real lives, real feelings.

It's just common courtesy: call someone what they want to be called. Use the name you're introduced by. Would you congratulate yourself for mispronouncing someone's name?

And OP, I feel you. It was hard for me to get used to new names / pronouns for the folks I know who've changed them since we've met. I felt dumb, using the singular they felt hella awkward, I'm cisgendered, and my experience of my own gender is basically invisible to me, so...I take everyne's gender kinda for granted.  But two of the non-binary folks I know are true, dear friends (one, in fact, is an ex), so...knowing them already made me want to keep that friendship going--they're awesome humans!--and that made the awkward part of it easier.

It doesn't seem like you're close to this person, and are experiencing the discomfort of talking about them and explaining things you don't quite get to other people.

My sense is that every person of trans / non-binary experience does it differently. So if you've got an active friendship and have put in some pronouns 101 legwork, they may well be some willingness to talk you through any pronouns 201 questions you have--in my experience, doing a little leg work is appreciated. [/quote]

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