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[quote=Anonymous]I didn't have a wedding.  We went to the courthouse, and it was a lovely day.

It's not your money.  Maybe they like BIL better than your husband.  Maybe they like his fiancee and her family better than you and yours.  Who knows.  But it's not your money.  They have no obligation to you.  You have no obligation to them.

And that's the thing: Don't be bitter.  It's better not to have people pay for your stuff because then you are beholden to none.  There's no basis to guilt trip you down the road if they want to live with you and you say no.

I have a very strong belief that it's best to pay for things yourself.  I actually think that one of the most important things to a healthy marriage is VERY strong boundaries with relatives and inlaws.  I've seen a lot of miserable marriages because there aren't adequate boundaries, and it's hard to enforce strong boundaries when you accept money from people.

Be proud you financed your own wedding.  Go to BIL's wedding and have fun.  And then don't think about it again.[/quote]

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