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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A tangent I know but I ponder this for my DS who is 1/4 black but looks really white.  I'm 1/2 black and checked both black and white if I could check multiple boxes or just black if I could only check one.  I don't look white and have felt some degree of racism in my life so I felt okay doing that.  I guess it's up to my son but I hope he checks white or maybe other.  I would feel disappointed if he checked black for an admissions boost.  One drop rule and all that notwithstanding, AA is not meant for him.[/quote]

you sound jealous of your son's phenotype. do you wish you were his shade? [/quote]

Huh?  It's just a different situation for him.  In some ways my situation is more comfortable because I look mixed and am mixed and so there's no weird feeling that part of my heritage is invisible.  Anyway, do you want my kid to take an AA spot?  Would that make you feel better?  Whatever lady.[/quote]

NP --Does your son live as AA, white, or mixed? Most mixed kids I meet with AA or mixed moms identify as AA or mixed regardless of their phenotype. When the mom is non-AA, that's when I see the kids identify more as white (or Asian or Latino) like mom if they can pass rather than dad's race. Obviously, this is just kids I've met and I'm sure there is variation, but I grew up in a military family with lots of intermarriage and I also lived in three very diverse cities with lots of intermarriage.[/quote]
How exactly does one "live" as AA? Or white?

Wtf. [/quote]

My DD could pass, but tells people she is AA. She doesn't even say biracial. She says "I'm black." She chose to participate in academic clubs and opportunities that were designed for AA students. When she was younger, she tended to gravitate toward black dolls or products that had a black child featured, rather than a white one.

In contrast, I have cousins and in-laws who actually do pass for white. You would never know they are 1/4 to 1/8 AA. It's not just about not checking the box, they pretty much reject all ties to the AA community and try to limit contact with family. This is in 2017. I understand why my grandmother and great grandmother passed occasionally, but it's 24/7 for these family members. I hope whatever they are getting out of it outweighs the downsides. Like stress a relative my color might tag you on a FB post about the family reunion.[/quote]

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