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[quote=Anonymous]Nagging is negative reinforcement, which has been shown to only get the absolute bare minimum response. Just enough to stop the nagging, nothing above and beyond that, and it creates a lot of resentment in both parties.

Figure out what works for your DH. For me, I need things written down. My DH can nag me a million times but I won't remember it until it's added to my to-do list. So I keep a little notebook with me and write what I need to do down.

For cleaning, let some of it go. Things don't need to be perfect. My DH nags about the most minute things, like how to load the dishwasher or which way to turn the shower head, things that make no real difference. I finally told him "you can continue nagging me, but I will still likely continue to not do it the way you like, so you can either continue nagging or for your own peace of mind let it go". Now he just lets it go.....usually. But for him having things perfectly clean comes from some deep-seated anxiety, so maybe that is something worth looking into.

For waking up at night for the baby, I found it easier during the week to just do it myself. I'm already awake, I'd rather just get it done and go back to sleep. But on weekends, I'd just lay in bed and let DH take care of things.

Also, ask yourself if your requests are reasonable and said politely in a reasonable tone of voice. If my DH nags, makes demands, doesn't say please, or is snarky, I won't do what he asked. And always say thank you enthusiastically and genuinely. [/quote]

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