Reply to "the victim of the affair is not always the victim of the marriage"

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Reply to ""the victim of the affair is not always the victim of the marriage""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I doubt people cheated on are really "blissfully unaware" that their spouse cheated. Unaware, but puzzled and being gas lit is more likely. Cheating takes effort and requires evasions and lies to cover up. A friend's dad pretended to sponsor a child in a developing country to cover up his assignations at a no tell motel. My dad had "business lunches" at a hotel. My ex-husband was on the phone in his study for hours because he was doing consulting work for the other woman. These lies accounted for time and money, but not the emotional distance or other intangibles. [/quote]

I totally disagree.  While this is admittedly thinly sourced, it says the vast majority of affairs are never discovered and the wealthy are more likely to cheat.

http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/9-fascinating-facts-about-infidelity

I would bet most women here who claim to have a happy, pure marriage have been cheated on at some point.  Not it the years long love affair, but in the business trip, bachelor party, massage parlor,  short term thing.  Men compartmentalize these things.  Unless you are a man, and really see how men act, talk, behave, on occasion (not all the time) when their wives aren't around, you really don't know.

I know many, many men who have had indiscretions, and none of them involved months long no tell motel stuff.  Most men are far smarter than that.[/quote]

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