Reply to "the victim of the affair is not always the victim of the marriage"

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Reply to ""the victim of the affair is not always the victim of the marriage""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]That said, Perel makes it very clear that once there is cheating, the marriage is over. Only if both parties want to try and build a new marriage can the work of creating a new marriage concept/contract/story be possible. [/quote]

I don't agree.  There are lots of marriages where there is/was cheating, and one spouse has no idea, and their marriage continues happily ever after and blissfully unaware.

Sometimes, cheating is a result of some grand marital conflict.  Often, especially with men, it's just a primal need and can have no great significance.  [/quote]

But those couples are living a lie. The cheated on person may be blissfully unaware, but the cheater is committing an egregious sin by not revealing their infidelity and giving the other party the option to stay or leave. They are sentencing their spouse to a lifetime of living a lie when they could find love and happiness with someone else who wouldn't cheat on them. In a misguided effort to not hurt a spouse, it's a really cruel thing to not fess up.[/quote]

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