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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That kid is probably not smart or bright, but most likely is gifted within the similar IQ range as your husband. With your husband's experience, what you need to do for your kid is try to find him a few intellectual peers, perhaps look into moving near good programs for gifted students - not smart ones, and educate yourself about giftedness.

Don't wait for the educational system to test him at the same time they get everyone. Get him tested privately in a year or two or three, but don't wait until here's 6 years old and bored and maladapted to his environment, has already caught a couple of bad habits from being an outlier, and his traditional school tells you tit-for-tat "you say he's gifted but he won't finish assignments and does [unwanted behavior x]".

If he's currently fascinated with space, do offer him more information on it. It's his fascination so you wouldn't be pushing anything, but following his lead. Age-appropriateness is simply not relevant, and it rarely is anyway, even with non-gifted kids. Take him to the library, and look through kids books on space with him.

Reading is a tricky issue. Because he is so eager for facts and info, you know he'll just take off and be able to feed himself what he's craving as soon as he's reading. You probably suspect he would learn to read quickly if you tried. There is no amount of tiger mommying that will get most bright children to learn to read at two, or the pressure and the work it would require are unnatural and likely harmful. But it is likely your boy will read long before his peers, so once he knows all his letter sounds, it won't hurt to try.[/quote]

Thank you for this.

We are both raised in military families. We have no family members who went to private schools or ivy league schools. Our parents were the first of their generation to attain any higher education, and yet my husbands IQ is in the 98 or 99 percentile. Even if a lot of posters don't believe me, that's fine.

For those saying, let him be. That's what my husbands parents did and I don't think it particularly worked. My husband is the smartest person I have ever met. He can fix anything. He understand and reads more than anyone I know, in depth about subjects that are arcane and weird, just for fun. He is very loving and kind and we have great relationships with our families. He regrets that he wasn't pushed harder. He got a near perfect SAT score with no prep and yet a D average. You automatically get letters from Ivy Leagues at that point, but he didn't bother applying to any schools because he didn't want to go to college.

Funnily enough, its the grandparents that are really filling me with doubt. I think they are self-conscious. If I get a non-toddler book from the library, or a hard seeming puzzle, they remark on it not being for him even if he happily flips through the pages. They buy him Mickey stuff and sit him in front of the TV.

We both have our concerns about public education. My husband taught himself to read at 4. His strongest memory of kindergarten is being forced to assign himself a red frowny face day after day because he wouldn't sit still and called the lessons stupid.

I'm not saying I want him tested. I'm saying I recognize that I think I need to be more informed. I think I need to get out of the shame of "oh everyone thinks their kid is gifted, sweetheart" and say, "no, look at him, this isn't about me, this is about him" and really start to fight for him.

[/quote]

I think you have some misconceptions about school and giftedness. Your husband didn't do as well not because he went to public school, but because he lacks drive. That's not something that's taught. Totally anecdotal, but my FIL grew up extremely poor. On his street, he hung out with two other boys who also came from less than stellar homes. They were all the kids of immigrants, who didn't speak English and barely cared their kids went to any school, let alone private school. My FIL had a learning disability and thus always got bad grades, but he knew he was smart so he kept on "hustling". There was no money for college, he went to work right out of school selling cars.  He went to college at 27 years old on his own dime. It was Harvard, when they started their adult education program. He eventually become the head of a big bank. His two friends, who also weren't particularly "gifted" or have much resources, also worked their way up. One owns casinos and the other his own hedge fund. Instead of cultivating giftedness, teach your son the value of hard work, persistence, and drive. You don't need private schools or anything else that's fancy for that. [/quote]

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