Anonymous wrote:OP, there are thousands of books out there, but I think you should probably read Nurture Shock amongst others. Once you start fighting for your "smart" child, you're in a road to kill his internal motivation. I was gifted and college was a huge shock to me bc I had been the "smart kid" at my middling HS and never had to work hard. My husband wasn't gifted, but similar to the other PP a "hustler" from a low-income family and I would say he's more successful than I am. IF your kid is unusually bright, I agree you should be focusing on social skills, manners, and independence/internal motivation. My oldest is very curious and since he was 18 months has gone through phases of intense interest in space, firefighting, ice harvesting, etc. We just go to museums, borrow books from libraries - as long as they have pictures- provide a lot of props for imagining and he takes it as far as he wants. Especially if you SAH this should be straightforward. And sign him up for preschool. Don't do worksheets.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, a 130 iq is not that big of a deal. Esp in this area. Many many people responding probably have iqs in the 150 range. I do. I read pride and prejudice for fun at 6. And understood almost all of it. That said, I have massive anxiety - many brilliant people do - and I'm not really that successful because I never had to try at anything intellectual.

As far as supporting him now, when you are literally a genius, you do it yourself. Those kind of kids build houses from cards without any kind of instruction, create complex games, read, etc. If your kid isn't developing his intellect on his own, he's average smart.

Oh and by not that successful, I do of course have an advanced degree from an ivy and a good job. But I'm not very motivated and I don't make the best decisions.

Read the recent time magazine article about brilliant and successful siblings. The idea that it takes tons of kimono or practices is outdated. Everyone does that now. You have to think outside the box. Independence and resourcefulness and imaginative play are probably the most saliebnt things for developing truly exceptional abilities. And the ability to really engage in that can be encouraged only at the margins.

Really interesting article! I especially liked this line from one of the parents:
"But Esther has a theory. “The more you do for your kids, the less they do for themselves,"

This was a good one too: "“You cannot reach anybody’s goal. You’ve got to reach your own goal,” says Gino Rodriguez. “You cannot reach a goal unless you set that goal for yourself.”"

Link please? Other book recs would be welcome too.

You can become more of a self starter right here by using the google.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, a 130 iq is not that big of a deal. Esp in this area. Many many people responding probably have iqs in the 150 range. I do. I read pride and prejudice for fun at 6. And understood almost all of it. That said, I have massive anxiety - many brilliant people do - and I'm not really that successful because I never had to try at anything intellectual.

As far as supporting him now, when you are literally a genius, you do it yourself. Those kind of kids build houses from cards without any kind of instruction, create complex games, read, etc. If your kid isn't developing his intellect on his own, he's average smart.

This is OP. I'm troubled by this attitude though. I think there are a lot of gifted kids falling through the cracks that have the same potential and intellect as those that are "successful" in the eyes of society. The public school system failed my husband. It wasn't his fault he was a D student in high school, I truly believe that. How do I do better for my son? and at what age do I start?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, a 130 iq is not that big of a deal. Esp in this area. Many many people responding probably have iqs in the 150 range. I do. I read pride and prejudice for fun at 6. And understood almost all of it. That said, I have massive anxiety - many brilliant people do - and I'm not really that successful because I never had to try at anything intellectual.

As far as supporting him now, when you are literally a genius, you do it yourself. Those kind of kids build houses from cards without any kind of instruction, create complex games, read, etc. If your kid isn't developing his intellect on his own, he's average smart.

Oh and by not that successful, I do of course have an advanced degree from an ivy and a good job. But I'm not very motivated and I don't make the best decisions.

Read the recent time magazine article about brilliant and successful siblings. The idea that it takes tons of kimono or practices is outdated. Everyone does that now. You have to think outside the box. Independence and resourcefulness and imaginative play are probably the most saliebnt things for developing truly exceptional abilities. And the ability to really engage in that can be encouraged only at the margins.

Really interesting article! I especially liked this line from one of the parents:
"But Esther has a theory. “The more you do for your kids, the less they do for themselves,"

This was a good one too: "“You cannot reach anybody’s goal. You’ve got to reach your own goal,” says Gino Rodriguez. “You cannot reach a goal unless you set that goal for yourself.”"

Link please? Other book recs would be welcome too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, a 130 iq is not that big of a deal. Esp in this area. Many many people responding probably have iqs in the 150 range. I do. I read pride and prejudice for fun at 6. And understood almost all of it. That said, I have massive anxiety - many brilliant people do - and I'm not really that successful because I never had to try at anything intellectual.

As far as supporting him now, when you are literally a genius, you do it yourself. Those kind of kids build houses from cards without any kind of instruction, create complex games, read, etc. If your kid isn't developing his intellect on his own, he's average smart.

Oh and by not that successful, I do of course have an advanced degree from an ivy and a good job. But I'm not very motivated and I don't make the best decisions.

Read the recent time magazine article about brilliant and successful siblings. The idea that it takes tons of kimono or practices is outdated. Everyone does that now. You have to think outside the box. Independence and resourcefulness and imaginative play are probably the most saliebnt things for developing truly exceptional abilities. And the ability to really engage in that can be encouraged only at the margins.

Really interesting article! I especially liked this line from one of the parents:
"But Esther has a theory. “The more you do for your kids, the less they do for themselves,"

This was a good one too: "“You cannot reach anybody’s goal. You’ve got to reach your own goal,” says Gino Rodriguez. “You cannot reach a goal unless you set that goal for yourself.”"

You can become more of a self starter right here by using the google.

I am sorry but I had to.

Link please? Other book recs would be welcome too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, a 130 iq is not that big of a deal. Esp in this area. Many many people responding probably have iqs in the 150 range. I do. I read pride and prejudice for fun at 6. And understood almost all of it. That said, I have massive anxiety - many brilliant people do - and I'm not really that successful because I never had to try at anything intellectual.

As far as supporting him now, when you are literally a genius, you do it yourself. Those kind of kids build houses from cards without any kind of instruction, create complex games, read, etc. If your kid isn't developing his intellect on his own, he's average smart.

Oh and by not that successful, I do of course have an advanced degree from an ivy and a good job. But I'm not very motivated and I don't make the best decisions.

Read the recent time magazine article about brilliant and successful siblings. The idea that it takes tons of kimono or practices is outdated. Everyone does that now. You have to think outside the box. Independence and resourcefulness and imaginative play are probably the most saliebnt things for developing truly exceptional abilities. And the ability to really engage in that can be encouraged only at the margins.

Really interesting article! I especially liked this line from one of the parents:
"But Esther has a theory. “The more you do for your kids, the less they do for themselves,"

This was a good one too: "“You cannot reach anybody’s goal. You’ve got to reach your own goal,” says Gino Rodriguez. “You cannot reach a goal unless you set that goal for yourself.”"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, a 130 iq is not that big of a deal. Esp in this area. Many many people responding probably have iqs in the 150 range. I do. I read pride and prejudice for fun at 6. And understood almost all of it. That said, I have massive anxiety - many brilliant people do - and I'm not really that successful because I never had to try at anything intellectual.

As far as supporting him now, when you are literally a genius, you do it yourself. Those kind of kids build houses from cards without any kind of instruction, create complex games, read, etc. If your kid isn't developing his intellect on his own, he's average smart.

Oh and by not that successful, I do of course have an advanced degree from an ivy and a good job. But I'm not very motivated and I don't make the best decisions.

Read the recent time magazine article about brilliant and successful siblings. The idea that it takes tons of kimono or practices is outdated. Everyone does that now. You have to think outside the box. Independence and resourcefulness and imaginative play are probably the most saliebnt things for developing truly exceptional abilities. And the ability to really engage in that can be encouraged only at the margins.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, a 130 iq is not that big of a deal. Esp in this area. Many many people responding probably have iqs in the 150 range. I do. I read pride and prejudice for fun at 6. And understood almost all of it. That said, I have massive anxiety - many brilliant people do - and I'm not really that successful because I never had to try at anything intellectual.

As far as supporting him now, when you are literally a genius, you do it yourself. Those kind of kids build houses from cards without any kind of instruction, create complex games, read, etc. If your kid isn't developing his intellect on his own, he's average smart.

This is OP. I'm troubled by this attitude though. I think there are a lot of gifted kids falling through the cracks that have the same potential and intellect as those that are "successful" in the eyes of society. The public school system failed my husband. It wasn't his fault he was a D student in high school, I truly believe that. How do I do better for my son? and at what age do I start?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, a 130 iq is not that big of a deal. Esp in this area. Many many people responding probably have iqs in the 150 range. I do. I read pride and prejudice for fun at 6. And understood almost all of it. That said, I have massive anxiety - many brilliant people do - and I'm not really that successful because I never had to try at anything intellectual.

As far as supporting him now, when you are literally a genius, you do it yourself. Those kind of kids build houses from cards without any kind of instruction, create complex games, read, etc. If your kid isn't developing his intellect on his own, he's average smart.

This is OP. I'm troubled by this attitude though. I think there are a lot of gifted kids falling through the cracks that have the same potential and intellect as those that are "successful" in the eyes of society. The public school system failed my husband. It wasn't his fault he was a D student in high school, I truly believe that. How do I do better for my son? and at what age do I start?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, a 130 iq is not that big of a deal. Esp in this area. Many many people responding probably have iqs in the 150 range. I do. I read pride and prejudice for fun at 6. And understood almost all of it. That said, I have massive anxiety - many brilliant people do - and I'm not really that successful because I never had to try at anything intellectual.

As far as supporting him now, when you are literally a genius, you do it yourself. Those kind of kids build houses from cards without any kind of instruction, create complex games, read, etc. If your kid isn't developing his intellect on his own, he's average smart.

This is OP. I'm troubled by this attitude though. I think there are a lot of gifted kids falling through the cracks that have the same potential and intellect as those that are "successful" in the eyes of society. The public school system failed my husband. It wasn't his fault he was a D student in high school, I truly believe that. How do I do better for my son? and at what age do I start?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That kid is probably not smart or bright, but most likely is gifted within the similar IQ range as your husband. With your husband's experience, what you need to do for your kid is try to find him a few intellectual peers, perhaps look into moving near good programs for gifted students - not smart ones, and educate yourself about giftedness.

Don't wait for the educational system to test him at the same time they get everyone. Get him tested privately in a year or two or three, but don't wait until here's 6 years old and bored and maladapted to his environment, has already caught a couple of bad habits from being an outlier, and his traditional school tells you tit-for-tat "you say he's gifted but he won't finish assignments and does [unwanted behavior x]".

If he's currently fascinated with space, do offer him more information on it. It's his fascination so you wouldn't be pushing anything, but following his lead. Age-appropriateness is simply not relevant, and it rarely is anyway, even with non-gifted kids. Take him to the library, and look through kids books on space with him.

Reading is a tricky issue. Because he is so eager for facts and info, you know he'll just take off and be able to feed himself what he's craving as soon as he's reading. You probably suspect he would learn to read quickly if you tried. There is no amount of tiger mommying that will get most bright children to learn to read at two, or the pressure and the work it would require are unnatural and likely harmful. But it is likely your boy will read long before his peers, so once he knows all his letter sounds, it won't hurt to try.

Thank you for this.

We are both raised in military families. We have no family members who went to private schools or ivy league schools. Our parents were the first of their generation to attain any higher education, and yet my husbands IQ is in the 98 or 99 percentile. Even if a lot of posters don't believe me, that's fine.

For those saying, let him be. That's what my husbands parents did and I don't think it particularly worked. My husband is the smartest person I have ever met. He can fix anything. He understand and reads more than anyone I know, in depth about subjects that are arcane and weird, just for fun. He is very loving and kind and we have great relationships with our families. He regrets that he wasn't pushed harder. He got a near perfect SAT score with no prep and yet a D average. You automatically get letters from Ivy Leagues at that point, but he didn't bother applying to any schools because he didn't want to go to college.

Funnily enough, its the grandparents that are really filling me with doubt. I think they are self-conscious. If I get a non-toddler book from the library, or a hard seeming puzzle, they remark on it not being for him even if he happily flips through the pages. They buy him Mickey stuff and sit him in front of the TV.


We both have our concerns about public education. My husband taught himself to read at 4. His strongest memory of kindergarten is being forced to assign himself a red frowny face day after day because he wouldn't sit still and called the lessons stupid.

I'm not saying I want him tested. I'm saying I recognize that I think I need to be more informed. I think I need to get out of the shame of "oh everyone thinks their kid is gifted, sweetheart" and say, "no, look at him, this isn't about me, this is about him" and really start to fight for him.

Anonymous wrote:Op, a 130 iq is not that big of a deal. Esp in this area. Many many people responding probably have iqs in the 150 range. I do. I read pride and prejudice for fun at 6. And understood almost all of it. That said, I have massive anxiety - many brilliant people do - and I'm not really that successful because I never had to try at anything intellectual.

As far as supporting him now, when you are literally a genius, you do it yourself. Those kind of kids build houses from cards without any kind of instruction, create complex games, read, etc. If your kid isn't developing his intellect on his own, he's average smart.

Anonymous wrote:Op, a 130 iq is not that big of a deal. Esp in this area. Many many people responding probably have iqs in the 150 range. I do. I read pride and prejudice for fun at 6. And understood almost all of it. That said, I have massive anxiety - many brilliant people do - and I'm not really that successful because I never had to try at anything intellectual.

As far as supporting him now, when you are literally a genius, you do it yourself. Those kind of kids build houses from cards without any kind of instruction, create complex games, read, etc. If your kid isn't developing his intellect on his own, he's average smart.