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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No, they are her clothes. If the other two want to share that's great. They are old enough to make their own decisions as well as respect the decisions of others.[/quote]

This is our approach, even with the younger ones.  They're 9 and 6.

There are things that we all share as a family and there are things we've gotten them to share between the two of them.

But each of us also has things that are just ours.  Adults and kids, alike.  And it's up to us whether or not to share them.

If we do, fine.  But it's always an option to say no when someone asks, and we try to respect each other's choices to not to share, just like we respect other in general.

All that said, our kids are also learning that what goes around comes around.  Meaning, they can choose whether or not to share their personal stuff with each other.  Including the clothes and toys we buy them.  But when they're generous the other will tend to be, too.  And when they hoard things, the other tends to, as well.

As a family, we're trying to create a "culture" where everyone wants to share and be generous with each other, but we also want to respect everyone's boundaries.  So far, so good.

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