Reply to Women who are with men who are just not that into them- why?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a good friend who is cute as a button and has a quirky but endearing to all personality.  She is gorgeous and I think could have her pick of men.  But she is dating someone who refused to call her his girlfriend for MONTHS (she loves to tell this story as if it's adorable), and is generally rude to her and acts like she's a nuisance.  The man is not traditionally attractive by most societal ideas of beauty- and not wealthy, etc- so it seems utterly baffling to me as to why she is with him.  He seems to be annoyed by her very presence.

My question is- WHY does this happen?  And if you were a woman in this kind of relationship what happened with it (i.e. still together, broke up, you realized you could do better, he ended it, etc) and why, psychologically, were you in it? [/quote]

Wow, this was me. Thankfully, I finally had the balls to break things off with the lame guy this past week, after half a year of dating that was going nowhere.

This happened because I called myself trying to be patient, and was maybe also in a bit of denial. The red flags of this guy's modus operandi was there from day one, showing how flaky and distant he could be, as he didn't return calls, stood me up, cancelled dates at the last minute. The only reason I hung in there is because when he did f*ck up, he'd come on really strong, which made me think he cared. But then he would go right back to his old ways rather quickly. These guys are very charming, and know all the right things to say and do to make a women feel emotionally secure. It's quite scary actually, because you find out they don't mean any of it.

We also get along really well, and I liked the attention, when I got it. This made it harder to walk away.

But finally, for my own self dignity and what little pride I had left after this escapade, I decided to listen to what ALL my friends had been telling me all along, and I dumped this dud. Shoulda done it a loooooooong time ago.

Now that I'm moving on, I'm trying to learn the difference between a sincere guy and a guy trying to play me. Some guys are really good at mimicking something they're not. They can play the nice guy really well, but be an undercover low key type of asshole. I find it hard to tell the difference.[/quote]

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