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[quote=Anonymous]OP-- I am all for open communication and no secrets ina marriage.  But this is a huge gamble.  Maybe you find out your husband is the father. Peace of mind all is well. But if you find out otherwise?  What do you do?  Destroy your life? DH's life?  Your son's life?  Tell your kid his dad is not his dad, and he is the product of rape?  You are never going to be able to bring rape charges 12 years later for something you don't remember happening with no physical evidence. That would be a tough sell if you had woken up an suspected an encounter the next day.

I am also puzzled by the not suspecting something happened at the time piece.  I think you must have suspected on known.  Or your mind would not be going there. The time to act was then. 'Tis isn't meant to be blaming the victim, but you didn't, so now you need to live with it for your kid's sake.

It sounds like this is going to continue to both you.  Unfriendly the colleague and try to put this behind you. If you can't, go see a counselor and work it out in private with her.

I hope you find some peace on this. But, for everyone's sake, your kid's dad is his dad. If if by chance he isn't biologically, then the other guy is a sperm donor. End of story. [/quote]

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