Reply to Would like to hear from parents of older teens who were caught with marijuana

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Getting kicked out of a school would be a game changer for me. Your child needs some help--therapy, drug, etc. I totally agree with the pp^^ who suggested support, not punishment.  To those who think aiming for  job without a drug test...does not exist today. My son's graduate school required a drug test as well as another at a big corporation.[/quote]

I agree, OP.  [b]You mention only in later posts that your son was actually kicked out of school [/b]and you have to find another high school for him to do his senior year?  That's a MAJOR consequence, if that's what you're looking for.  Here's what you do - have him research and scramble to find a new school.  Have him do all the paperwork and work that's involved in getting transferred over.  And, of course, no job? no money.  You get roof over your head and food (no clothes).  but the no job/no money thing would happen in my house whether or not my kid was caught with pot. [/quote]  Technically he wasn't, we dis-enrolled him to avoid a suspension.  There wasn't a lot of time to think through our options in that moment, or to even have a conversation with out kid.[/quote]

I also agree with exploring the potential of mental health issues. Find a therapist who specializes in teens and who can establish a good rapport with your DS.

I'm curious about the school situation though, and you don't need to answer, but we have been down a long and rocky road with a teen (not drug related but other serious issues). By avoiding the suspension, you enabled him to avoid the natural consequences and are now looking for other consequences to impose instead. Was this because of future college prospects? It is a very tricky path to discern when you are supporting a kid and when you are enabling bad choices. We worked with a therapist (different that DC's therapist) who specialized in adolescents to help us see all the ways we were acting on behalf of our DC thinking we were supporting instead of letting DC take the full responsibility of making decisions and then dealing with the outcome.

This may not be your situation, but I thought I would share our experience.[/quote]

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